Category: Love

  • They don’t know why we care

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    At a certain point, caring for others becomes the only thing worth doing. When I attended my grandfather’s funeral there were so many folks there whose lives he had impacted. I want my funeral to be full of my friends and family and I want them to all have a story to tell when I…

  • Skillful means

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    Clarity of speech is like purified water. It is ideal but not always the best choice. A bath of pure water would be expensive so instead we use tap water. Skillful means are similar: imperfect but often preferred. The phrase “skillful means” itself comes from the East. It refers to how, for example, Zen masters…

  • Solitude as a service

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    I have slowly begun to appreciate that being single has many often overlooked benefits which are lost when you are invested in a relationship. This has not stopped my heart from desiring to know and be known but it has given me patience and peace. I was recently at my niece’s sixth birthday party and…

  • Reflexive expectations

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    I am grateful to be single as well as to have glimpsed the kingdom of heaven. I have time to reflect on what I ought to do with myself and whom I must become. I am ironing out my flaws and preparing myself to have a “full cup” to give to the correct future partner.…

  • The narrow gate

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    You may have heard the phrase “carrying one’s cross” used in a secular sense as a heavy burden unique to yourself. Walking with God and living up to the standard set out by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters 5 – 7) seems to runs counter to how our brains evolved. While…

  • An insane date-gone-bad story

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    I met L in a way that I should be proud of. She (L) walked into my favorite cafe and was reading a book and so was I. I introduced myself and we ended up talking for three hours. During that time L invited me to a concert with her friends. I bought the ticket…

  • The cure for attachment issues

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    I have often struggled with an annoying habit of growing attached to new potential partners way too quickly. This, understandably, scares many of them away. I know at the level of my intellect that this is bad. The issue, of course, is that my heart seems to ignore my head in a bullish and adamant…

  • The cure for loneliness

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    There is a jumping off point from loneliness when you internalize the truth that you can talk to anyone around you at any time. When I first developed this skill it was in order to find love but there are so many more reasons to confidently introduce yourself to strangers and dating is only one…

  • Waiting for marriage

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6 I am almost thirty and have spent the past decade navigating my dating life guided by my own moral compass. I can firmly declare…

  • Independence is a gift

    I have always known theoretically that independence was a prerequisite of starting and maintaining a relationship with a strong woman. It has, however, only been recently that I have begun to effectively build this pillar of inner strength – and not without effort. By independence, I mean the ability to stand on one’s own emotionally,…

  • Changing yourself to find love

    There is a paradox in dating that you may have observed. To be confident enough to introduce yourself to a woman you must believe that you are worthy of affection and romance. At the same time to grow as a man you must accept that you aren’t yet at your best state. To be a…